天空換季啦／New Season For the Sky

進入四月。「哎喲，都春天了！」英格蘭的天公和阿ㄨ好像，記性了不起的差。祂慌慌張張收起散落在各處的低壓壓烏雲，使勁撤下又厚又重的灰暗天幕，搜出收在櫃子中下一秒就要發霉了的湛藍薄紗，準備幫天空換季。咦，太陽收到哪兒去了？天公不僅記性了不起的差，腦袋瓜兒也跟阿ㄨ一樣糊塗得緊，事實上祂照一照鏡子，嘴裡也會看到兩顆如假包換的大暴牙。東找西找翻箱倒櫃，頭冒冷汗家裡一團亂。啊哈，總算從床底下撈着了金黃色的太陽。彈一彈塵埃，擦一擦乾淨，祂小心翼翼的把太陽拴上了天空，拉一下開關鏈，挺得意的。頓時之間，大笨鐘上的金箔閃閃發光，泰唔士河波光粼粼，整個倫敦明亮了起來，從此搖身變成快樂之城，四處花兒綻放鳥兒鳴唱人兒心花怒放。這幾天英格蘭放銀行假，公園綠地上更是躺著坐著站著都是臉部鬆懈、嘴角上揚的人，個個像傻瓜。人家說三人行，我們說三對行，我們六人浩浩蕩蕩帶著葡萄酒、洋芋片、三明治、野餐毯和三條餵鳥的麵包到聖詹姆士公園去，套句史瑞克的口頭禪，「徹底的」融入傻瓜群。你們找不到我們吧！？

It’s April. “Goodness gracious it’s spring!” Like Ahwoo, Heavenly Ruler of England suffers from low memory cell count. He hurriedly collects the low-lying clouds scattered across the sky and removes the leaden grey canopy. Then He fishes out a piece of feathery azure gauze that was just about to go moldy in the next second from the closet, all ready to change the season for the sky. Goodness gracious, where did I store the sun? Not only does He suffer from low memory cell count, Heavenly Ruler of England also often feels as confused as Ahwoo. In fact when looking into the mirror, He finds himself sporting a pair of magnificent buck teeth. So, Heavenly Ruler of England opens the closet, looks into the fridge, turns over the trunk. His forehead is dripping sweat and His house is a fantastic mess. Aha! Beneath His bed He spots the golden globe. After flicking off the dust and wiping it clean, Heavenly Ruler of England carefully screws the sun into the sky. In pride He tugs the chain and switches the globe on. Almost immediately both the gilded Big Ben and the ripply River Thames began to deflect the sun’s brilliant rays. From now on, London becomes a city of happiness. Flowers bloom, birds chirp and people’s hearts sing. It’s Bank Holiday, so everywhere you look in the park are people sitting, standing and lying on the verdant grass, wearing dreamy smiles on their relaxed faces like a bunch of idiots. The online Marriam-Weber dictionary calls a group of three “trio”, but our trio is a group of three couples. To celebrate the advent of spring, our trio hauled our wine, sandwiches, chips, picnic blankets and three loaves of bread for bird-feeding to St. James Park to join the rest of the idiots. Look how well we blend in. Can you find us?